I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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