drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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