Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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