He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize