i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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