His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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