ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
