I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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