Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
