im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Drunk is a universal language darling
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
