sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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