hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
