I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?