And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY