Texts From Last Night

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  (434): View more from Virginia

  did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?

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  (434): did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace? http://tfl.nu/alh3
  Replies (1) Good night (863) Bad night (920)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.

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  (303): So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper. http://tfl.nu/p0yj
  Replies (34) Good night (942) Bad night (5802)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.

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  (970): Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass. http://tfl.nu/mex7
  Replies (12) Good night (9723) Bad night (920)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.

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  (617): i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night. http://tfl.nu/15vj
  Replies (50) Good night (5069) Bad night (1690)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.

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  (440): Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana. http://tfl.nu/g8b3
  Replies (24) Good night (1976) Bad night (6793)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......

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  (610): Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain....... http://tfl.nu/fodn
  Replies (26) Good night (1725) Bad night (7238)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.

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  (506): I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number. http://tfl.nu/oux0
  Replies (11) Good night (6092) Bad night (904)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I think winning the long island race means you lose at life

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  (414): I think winning the long island race means you lose at life http://tfl.nu/iy8p
  Replies (5) Good night (1155) Bad night (635)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.

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  (575): I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here" (575): Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life. http://tfl.nu/q6db
  Replies (9) Good night (2309) Bad night (810)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.

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  (724): Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me. http://tfl.nu/rflf
  Replies (10) Good night (3717) Bad night (1173)
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  (909): View more from California

  Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"

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  (909): Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead" http://tfl.nu/uxql
  Replies (4) Good night (978) Bad night (505)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Locking that text forever.

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  (503): I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt? (1-503): Locking that text forever. http://tfl.nu/8ooh
  Replies (0) Good night (884) Bad night (435)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me

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  (479): I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me http://tfl.nu/cdlh
  Replies (7) Good night (968) Bad night (324)
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  (716): View more from New York

  As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"

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  (716): As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on" http://tfl.nu/an67
  Replies (5) Good night (419) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.

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  (336): I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now. http://tfl.nu/ru0z
  Replies (6) Good night (184) Bad night (633)

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