Soap is not a condiment
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?