Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.

(416): View more from Ontario

Got yourself a keeper right there.

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(905): She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use. (416): Got yourself a keeper right there. http://tfl.nu/t8iu

Replies (26) Good night (5089) Bad night (936)
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(360): View more from Washington

there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am

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(360): there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am http://tfl.nu/on84

Replies (26) Good night (5937) Bad night (950)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours

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(484): we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours http://tfl.nu/cvkh

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(785): View more from Kansas

turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high

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(785): turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high http://tfl.nu/v57y

Replies (20) Good night (1495) Bad night (5317)
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(303): View more from Colorado

there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome

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(303): there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome http://tfl.nu/x7k0

Replies (8) Good night (5174) Bad night (1535)
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(408): View more from California

Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.

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(408): Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities. http://tfl.nu/yskk

Replies (2) Good night (1935) Bad night (687)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow

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(479): everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers (1-479): trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow http://tfl.nu/b3n0

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(320): View more from Minnesota

Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.

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(320): Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean. http://tfl.nu/p8ix

Replies (6) Good night (2490) Bad night (722)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.

(778): View more from British Columbia

Feel free to use me as a reference.

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(778): Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack. (778): Feel free to use me as a reference. http://tfl.nu/6uxg

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(443): View more from Maryland

So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..

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(443): So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses.. http://tfl.nu/gsxe

Replies (14) Good night (1887) Bad night (632)
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(207): View more from Maine

Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.

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(207): Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something. http://tfl.nu/ppvg

Replies (12) Good night (1162) Bad night (693)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.

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(248): Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real. http://tfl.nu/avlt

Replies (15) Good night (2648) Bad night (754)
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(917): View more from New York City

Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes

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(917): Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes http://tfl.nu/krda

Replies (2) Good night (444) Bad night (768)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.

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(774): preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts. http://tfl.nu/6ehv

Replies (3) Good night (743) Bad night (349)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.

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(808): Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out. http://tfl.nu/dk9u

Replies (1) Good night (257) Bad night (489)

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