Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.