If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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