I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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