You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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