i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
