You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
