You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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