He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
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Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
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I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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