she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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