My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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