Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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