And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Actions speak louder than pants.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize