Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
