WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
