woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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