New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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