with your own penis?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
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She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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