I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Everyone says I win the strip club
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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