thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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