Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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