he shaved USA in his pubs
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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