I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Boobs are out for the taking
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
