I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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