Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
wow bdsm is so cute
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
