The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
