i barfeds in our rink
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I had to cum in my sink.
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