Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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