well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
