The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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