That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
