U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
