Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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