worst night to have a conscience
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize