looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
