I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
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I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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