Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
