a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
