Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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