so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize