Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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