I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
