She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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