I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
