Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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