When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
