dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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