She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
