he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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