Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
