I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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