She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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