so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
