There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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