she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
