Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
